5.27.03 A. reading - geoff's php tarot

Second attempt. After I was completely finished, I read the email where she asked her question. I know little to nothing about this woman's life, other than her mother is ill and she writes.

"I've been having a tough time balancing all the pieces of my life since my mom got sick and this weekend I felt like I was somehow returning to myself, so much has been on my mind lately but I've been wondering what the months ahead hold for me -- I have 3 or 4 relationships with men friends and I'm not sure if they will just float along the same way or if there will be more exciting dialogues, I wonder about my writing, my finances, my job, about moving, about K. and I and the decisions that we have to make because of all the changes with my mom...but I guess the whole thing boils down to this one question:

Where am I headed through the summer with the things and people that matter to me?"

01. Queen of Disks
02. V The Heirophant
03. XIV Art

04. Science - 6 of Swords
08. X Fortune
12. Oppression - 10 of Wands

05. Strength - 9 of Wands
09. XVI The Tower
13. Swiftness - 8 of Wands

06. III The Empress
10. XVII The Star
14. VII The Chariot

07. Wealth - 10 of Disks
11. Power - 4 of Disks
15. Truce - 4 of Swords

General Reading
(before reading individual cards...or initial Question email)

You are the queen of disks - a mature woman, you have been through a long, hard time, and are just now out of it, but still not over it. The first 2 lines of this stanza popped into my head:

Lady of silences
Calm and distressed
Torn and most whole
Rose of memory
Rose of forgetfulness
Exhausted and life-giving
Worried reposeful
The single Rose
Is now the Garden
Where all loves end
Terminate torment
Of love unsatisfied
The greater torment
Of love satisfied
End of the endless
Journey to no end
Conclusion of all that
Is inconclusible
Speech without word and
Word of no speech
Grace to the Mother
For the Garden
Where all love ends.
-Ash Wednesday by T.S. Eliot

There is a major dramatic change going on in your life right now, as evidenced by the presence of SEVEN Major Arcana (more than half.) Things are shaking up for you on a very archetypal fundamental level. It may seem like the end of the world(Tower) but clearly it isn't. It would seem to be a primarily spiritual crisis, not a financial or physical one. You have your soul's work (Art) (which may or may not be your career) and a powerful male who understands your spiritual needs (The Hierophant) at your side to help you through this time of trouble. There is a strong woman (The Empress) also involved, but she is fading from significance.

Your emotions are curiously absent from this reading. Your concerns are spiritual and financial, and to a lesser degree, intellectual. There seem to be two ways of looking at this thing:

The Tower
fire & brimstone, end of the world, all hell breaking loose, catastrophic loss of life and possessions. You can fight it, be strong, make it all come crashing down and feel like shit for a while, but then have it move on, get over it. "overcoming & transforming hindrances." Just keep in mind that it'll suck bigtime while it lasts.

Wheel of Fortune
life is a cycle, things are just rotating on to the next phase, what may seem bad now will turn out to be for the best) You know intellectually that the circle of life has been going on for millions of years and it shouldn't be fought. You know that you should go with the flow and let things move naturally. Think seasons. Out of the cold death of winter comes new life of spring.

In the end, you will come out on top. You'll make intellectual peace with your decisions/actions, and, very possibly, you will end up with a pile of money, and a really nice house - you will have not only financial and physical stability, but you will be down right well off. An inheritance?

Details:
[group 1: you, your situation, the core of the question]
01. Queen of Disks
02. V The Heirophant
03. XIV Art

Queen of Disks
looking over a barren past of disappointment, deprivation, lonliness from an oasis of growth and maternal abundance; water in earth; Demeter/Artemis combined; a woman with great experience of hardship who as attained vitaility, creativity, assertiveness, and boundary-setting abilities; developing fallow talents in a fruitful time period of one's life; discovery & development of an existing relationship, starting a new relationship, the desire for a larger family.

this is a woman who has just gone through a hard time and is just past it, looking back, learning her lessons from it. (see above)

The Hierophant
"knowledge and enlightenment as an experience independent of science & dogmatic religion;" priest, teacher, dignitary (representatives of spiritual laws); belief, trust, illumination; the dark goddess stands at his feet (the Great Mother, Isis); the snake of redemption (kundalini); "The Hierophant represents the world of belief and a deep trust in life springing from this uncertainty of belief. The search for hidden meaning is his inner motivation. A deep certainty of being part of a higher order grows from his perceptions." past, present and future (the child Horus in his chest); "In our personal relationships the card shows that we find ourselves in a phase of growing mutual trust and affection, in which moral values as personal virtues are becoming decisive for our partnership behavior. It is a time when we come to know the deep purpose of love, and can thereby recognize that it is a power that wants to guide us beyond ourselves to the divine experience." [interesting to note that i had that one called pretty well, having only read this book once years ago. :) ]

there are 5 pages on this guy, let me know if you want more. because of where he is in the spread, it is clear that this is a specific male person in your life. probably your partner or someone who will become your partner/lifemate.

XIV - Art
solve et coagula - "dissolve and bind;" alchemy, the "art of perfection;" combining opposites into a new, more perfect entity; the marriage of the Lovers; Artemis, the many-breasted; "From our own phases of transformation we know that such changes do not take place without pain. All of the dark and ego-centered thoughts must die before the individual can be reborn like the Phoenix from the ashes." steam, vapors; Latin inscription = "Visit the interior parts of the earth; by rectification you shall find the hidden stone" the acronym for the latin is V.I.T.R.I.O.L. which is the alchemical symbol word for transmutation; "The state of the great Work therefore consisted in the mingling of the contradictory elements in a cauldron...distillation...So also the formula of continued life is death, or putrefaction. Here it is represented by the caput mortuum on the cauldron, a raven perched upon a skull." - A. Crowley; sulphur, mercury, salt = fire, water, earth = mind, soul, body [corresponds to there being no Cups in this reading]; kundalini awakening; "the ascent of one's own soul and search for the core of being"

in my own experience this card is always related to actual creative work - "art," be it dance, painting, writing, music, etc. - i also associate mercury with insanity & the psychedelic landscape that often contributes to truly brilliant art.

6 of Swords
search for truth (setting off for new shores and insight into the secrets of the world); balance between spirit and nature; holistic thinking; approaching the visible effects of the unfathomable. 6 swords meet at the center of a rose. corresponds to the teaching of purposeful "coincidence" and synchronicity (CG Jung); "in the depths of the inner experience this knowledge leads to a way of thinking that is extensive and holistic, whereby even apparently unreconcilable viewpoints can be reconciled.

X - Fortune
"continuous growth and decay (eternal change, alternation, new begining); acceptance of destiny, understanding the purpose in life, and the transformation of the lower into the higher; on the wheel are Hermanubis, the shaping & initiating ape creature; Typhon, the destructive and retrospective crocodile; and at the highest point, the connective Sphinx holding the polarities in balance." they are associated with, respectively, Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. "Birth and death do not related to each other like two sides of a coin. Instead they are the same side, separated only by time or the wheel, for the wheel is the profound symbol of wholeness, in constant movement and yet unchanging in its center." this is in contrast to "the Western linear image of the world, which recognizes a beginning (moment of creation) and an end (apocalypse)." "The card indicates changes in life, because our integration into the whole needs an adjustment to new ways of looking at things."

10 of Wands
drive for power; structured growth; crystalized deepening of reality; responsibility and self-determination. "the eight wands in the background are still crossed and indicate the enormous power of fiery energy, yet are blocked by the vertical wands and cannot develop their life impulses. This is why the topics here are the rational processing of reality, structuring of life, and strategies to master everyday life." oppressed by intense worries; the struggle for success and power resulting in stress and overstrain through excessive duties and responsibilities."

[group 3: given 2 possible paths, this is the alternative to group 2, what could happen if you exert your will to make changes. if not drastically different from group 2, it is just a further extension of what you can expect or are expecting.]
05. Strength - 9 of Wands
09. XVI The Tower
13. Swiftness - 8 of Wands

9 of Wands
spiritual truth; marriage between heaven and earth (unification of conscious and unconscious powers); contradictions, psychological injuries. the wands have penetrated from the idea (Mercury) into the realm of intuition (Sagittarius) - negatively connoted i'd guess this meant paranoia. highly emotional times (all those moons); connection to inner creative powers in a negative sense could mean near-insanity, fear, delusion. (these are my understandings. the book is all happy, but its position in the layout indicates a negative or "shadow" meaning.); the books says "stability through transformation," which i would read as "instability through excessive change." next sentence: "This means we experience a constant and willful change... without coming into to conflict with essential principles in the process." now, reverse that. "This card connects alert attention with quick reactions." Paranoia & acting too soon?

also related to sexuality - new connections with new people

XVI - The Tower
"destruction of form, nullification and upheaval of values; the truth, enlightenment or perception that strikes like lightning and destroys falseness and rigid ideas; 'the eye of god' (lightning-like enlightenment); overcoming one's self (setting the soul free); blind destruction; breaking open encrustations; passing through the pain to a new birth (every ending is a new begining)" dove w/ olive branch opposite lion-snake is ancient egyptian & gnostic sign against evil; "every collapse can prove to be beneficial."

"The tower is the quintessence of the security-oriented hardened personality refusing to seek high-vibrational, transcendent perception, who instead seeks the material with its promise of security, in which all of the higher-striving ideals, hopes and wishes are reduced to their bare realizability and atrophy. It is the symbol of the inappropriate attempt to get control of the incalculability of fate, securing and protecting oneself through structures."

this is often called "the worst card in the deck" - much harsher than Death, and more often represents an actual death. "the end of the world as i know it" - and not feeling so fine about it. again, there are pages of description. want more? ask.

8 of Wands
"ideas, movement and (quick) communication; knowledge, progress, development (new paths), or digesting and/or processing old goals (problem solving) again, positioning makes this have negative connotations. i'd translate to: snap judgements, speaking and acting too soon, falling into old patterns/ruts, and re-hashing old battles. "vehemence, hastiness, superficiality; unexpected impulse; mental activity."

a very high-energy card. can indicate impulsiveness, lack of impulse control, sense of urgency or immediacy ("i have to do this NOW or NEVER!") which may not be justified.

book also says: "In the kife of our relationships the Eight of Wands is a symbol for the flames of passion as they flicker in desire for the object of their longing. They therefore represent effusive phases, euphoria, and enthusiasm in the relationship." hmm. NRE?

III The Empress
"Devotion and motherhood; birth; mother nature; the positive side of the earthly mother: love, trust, growth, touch, merging, fulfillment"

"In her right hand she bears the lotis of Isis; the lotus represents the feminine, or passive power. Its roots are in the earth beneath the water, or in the water itself, but it opens its petals to the Sun. Perching upon the flamelike uprights of her throne are two of her most sacred birds, teh sparrow and the dove; beneath the throne is a floor of tapestry, embroidered with fleurs-de-lys and fishes. The heraldry of the Empress is two-fold: on the one side, the pelican of tradition feeding its young from the blood of its own heart; on the other, the white eagle of the eagle of the Alchemist." - A. Crowley

"the Empress is actually a symbol of the Great Goddess, the elementally powerful mother of all life."

the sparrow represents Aphrodite; dove: Eve, causer of the Fall of Man, also the Holy Spirit of Christianity, the impregnator of the Virgin Mary (same dove on the Hierophant, and the Tower),

Quite simply, your mother.

XVII The Star
the card after the Tower in the deck. "Devotion to the moment; spiritual introspection, insight into the perfection of the cosmos, renewal and rebirth; Star of Bethlehem; creative hope." the longing in the depths of our unconscious; longing for life itself; Nut/Isis; "This creative impulse is not only the original symbol of life, but also the hope that out f the rubble (the Tower) new life will grow time and again." the star fairy; Nut, the lady of the stars; an expression of the unconscious longing shining through the beauty of a real woman." "the instinctive drive by which people fall in love with love;" "the card of hope, the unconscious will of life; and the insight into higher correlations... the unconscious desire to abandon oneself in the streams of flowing delight and cheerful irresponsibility."

new hope

VII The Chariot
"Desire for conquest, spirit of adventure, daring; the highest achievable good: the Holy Grail; the hero setting off; the path that leads forwards, the searching for and finding of one's own place in the world." "a mighty potential of power... a peaceful power that has gathered within itself and around its center." the holy warrior; the Grail Knight; setting off on a Grail Quest? how about a Vision Quest? same thing. :) could be a person who pushes you to find yourself.

10 of Disks
striving for or attaining gain, wealth, security; solid foundation, success & prosperity; the tree of life; physical and financial well-being; having of stuff; possibly inheritance, raise, gain on the physical real-world plane

4 of Disks
"security, fixation, stability; completion of earthly power through condensation of strength; imperturbability; the strengthening and all-dominating power." the 4 towers of a castle or fortress, human living space; "the power does not lie in the material itself, but rather in the manner in which we give it structure and meaning" -

perhaps a home well-shielded from outside influences, the creation of sacred space within your house, or making your entire house a sacred space so that you can retreat and rebuild yourself.

4 of Swords
stabilization and keeping still; repose and peace (self knowledge and renewal through the experience of suffering); coming through sorrow to a place of introversion and self-knowledge; "withdrawal from the emotional realm in order to newly organize our live life;" swords meeting in the center of the Rose again, creating "a protected space within which the energies can be regenerated; a time of painful liberation with subsequent healing; unrepressed sorrow ultimately brings its own healing with it."

I had the querent focus on a question, then click the link to shuffle and deal 15 cards. she turned them over one by one and read them to me. I put them in the order that they would have normally gone given the usual 15-card spread I use with the Crowley Thoth deck. (I also got my own cards out & made a physical representation of her layout so I could look at the cards). The interpretations are either my own, or come from The Crowley Tarot by Akron and Hajo Banzhaf, and some are based on notes from Gerd Ziegler's Mirror of the Soul.